On prend de l’âge, on ride, pas sur la vague, juste sur la gueule, on blanchit de la capuche, le neurone frémit de panique face à la moindre nouveauté vécue sur le mode du bizarre plutôt que sur celui de la découverte, plutôt en frigide du cervelet, en frigo de la culture qu’en chauffeur d’idées, davantage en endurci du bout de mou qui pend parfois entre les jambes qu’en ramolli de la barre affolée qui cherche pour soi sans même qu’on s’en aperçoive.
Bizarre : qui s’écarte du goût, des usages reçus.
On vieillit pour s’enferrer toujours plus dans le non-bizarre. Faut du repère, faut savoir où qu’on est. Mes usages (reçus?) eux ne sont bizarres que pour l'autre, qui, soit dit en passant n'y comprend rien à rien puisque son goût est si sûr. Et moins encore lorsque ces usages ne sont pas reçus, hérités. Créer des usages ? Hérésie....
On ride, pas sur la neige, juste sur la gueule. Et dedans, au croisement du cervelet et de l’œil, là aussi on ride et cela se perçoit parfois plus violemment. Le poil blanchit comme il s’essaime, comme s’éclaircit aussi la vue et la vérité crue, celle du croyant, pas celle de celui qui la voit nue se déhanchant comme une belle salope autour de son mât d’aluminium, inaccessible et vulgaire comme un mensonge mal formulé qu'il faut payer pour qu'il dure encore un peu.
Mais il faut être dur, c’est rassurant, dur comme l’assise d’un canapé bourgeois avide de ces chaires molles jusque dans les entrelacs d’un cerveau qui aurait plus d’affinités avec le baba au rhum qu’avec la fulgurance des éclairs électriques qu’on y trouve naturellement. Une étincelle par-ci, par-là, à étouffer promptement, donne l'avant-goût de la rigidité pré-cadavérique, de la dureté post-mortem, physique celle-là. A fuir...
Dur de partout : la mort. Et parallèlement la fin de l’idée, jamais plus molle qu'en cet instant, évanescente à l’extrême, fumeuse comme jamais, inexistante. C'est le néant. Dureté ?
Durcir, c’est bien au contraire s’affiner, c’est se préciser en conscience, c’est vomir ce qui pourrait s’accoquiner avec le (bon) goût, c’est élever au rang d’art le dégoût de la mollesse, l'autre nom de la rigidité et de la courte vue, c’est chercher les angles -de tir-, c’est se rendre prêt à décocher ses vues aux faces ramollies des réfrigérants du ciboulot. Durcir, c’est décocher à sa propre face les flèches revitalisantes du refus de l’enfermement si démocratique de la masse informe de ceux qui ont raison.
Durcir, serait-ce la traduction d’un certain courage, celui de tenir la barre du navire de la vie en proie aux tempêtes et aux colères de ceux qui ne s’écartent pas du goût ? Durcir, serait-ce cette façon si particulière de tenir à sa bizarrerie ? Car il est vrai que maintenir le cap d’une différence est un combat qui demande d’être dur avec soi et avec les autres, cela parce que le mou est une force dont la puissance a souvent été sous-estimée.
Loo
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